


Thunderstorms

by saga_sempai (byakugan_princess)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Borderline Personality Disorder, Daddy Issues, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mental Instability, Slow Build, Smut, basic ass fic about nothing, let me find away to put my emotions into words, pretty much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-05-17 12:42:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byakugan_princess/pseuds/saga_sempai
Summary: Imagine an average young male with talent and promise, and add in coming to terms with a forever crush, crumbling mental health, and daddy issues. That's Reiner Braun, and his life could easily be summed up to an anticipating thunderstorm.Or, the same fic that has been done a million and one times, but the focus is on his mental health... written by someone who also has a personality disorder. You're welcome~*slight warning, this fic will feature a few disturbing thoughts but I will add warnings at the beginning.also, WHILE THIS IS DEFINITELY REIBERT CENTRIC, this is NOT Bertholdt friendly and he will not be painted as the poor defenseless character that has to deal with Reiner's mental stability, in fact, he will be the cause of some of Reiner's triggers.*[also, I'll probably change this description later]





	1. Landfall

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so hi. Here I am w/ yet another fic. I hope you all enjoy this fic that is likely gonna be all over the place because that's just how I am. I'll try to update as much as possible but as I'm typing this I am already 10~k into the story, so there's that lol~
> 
> anyway, this is special to me and Reiner is very special to me because I can sympathize with living with a personality disorder and it's taken me a long time to even be comfortable with admitting that this is me. So to all that reads this, just know that when I start talking about Reiner's feelings, it's from deep down in the bottom of my heart~
> 
> *also, i'm aware that reiner technically doesn't have bpd (although bpd can be seen in people w/ did) but the symptoms are easier for me to write so I will~
> 
> xx

“If that’s all Mr. Braun, I’ll see you next week,” the grey-haired male spoke, as he pushed the square frames higher on his nose. 

 

Reiner unclenched his hands, which he didn’t realise were tightly balled into fists. He reached out to give a light handshake and hoped that his palms weren’t damp. 

_ Nope. Dry. _

The blonde stood and showed himself to the door after giving his therapist a nod and thanking him, as he always respectfully did, regardless of how their sessions went...

 

He trekked through the lobby, ready to escape from the suffocating yellows and browns of the office and the smell of leather furniture. At least, this was better than the city mental health clinic but Reiner couldn’t stand the warm, contemporary look that drew in middle-aged women, who brought along kids that the moms were “sure had ADHD” but in reality, they just had shitty parents. 

But, honestly, Reiner just hated seeing a therapist.

 

He pushed through the doors into the breeze of the March afternoon, thankful to be out of the constricting air of the office. He jammed his hands into the pockets of his grey joggers and pulled his cellphone out as he walked along the sidewalk to the parking lot.

 

3 missed calls.

2 messages.

 

He looked at the calls. They were all from his mom. He rolled his eyes, ignoring them and putting off the conversation that always occurred after this appointments. He wasn’t upset because she was always encouraging and loving, but she was overbearing and too active about his mental health. It made sense for her to extra worry now. Graduation was right around the corner and he even knew he was at his weakest during pressuring times.

 

_ I’ll shoot her a text and talk to her about it later.  _ Reiner whispered to himself under his breath as he went to check his messages, passing the many cars in the lot. He tapped at the screen opening one of the two unread message threads.

 

**Bertl:**

_ hey, man. everything go ok? _

_ btw i took notes for you on the lecture in economics today  _

 

Reiner felt himself unintentionally smiling at the message from his best friend. He knew how uncomfortable Reiner felt talking about his appointments and but he cared about him so he subtly asked if everything was fine and often helped him out if he had to miss class because of an appointment.

 

**Reiner:**

_ Haha, thnx. Ur a lifesaver man. Do you have practice today? I'll give you a ride home. _

 

Reiner opened the door of his black beauty of a Jeep and climbed inside. Bertholdt texted back almost immediately, saying that he’d appreciate a ride. Reiner texted his mom, tapping away at the screen, letting her know he was good and that he’d be a little late before pulling out of the parking lot en route to his school.

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

Reiner pulled up to the school opting to park near the gymnasium rather than student lot since classes were over for the day. He was quite early also so he decided to hang out and watch practice.

 

The stocky blonde pushed through the double doors to the sound of sneakers squeaking across floors and the sounds of dribbling basketballs. Reiner wasn’t a basketball type of guy but the sport genuinely interested him, in fact, all sports did. He was co-captain of the school’s football team and skillfully helped lead the school to state, earning him a couple scholarships to pretty decent colleges. 

 

The team was doing individual drills in groups. Reiner spotted Bertholdt in the layup group, although it wasn’t hard to pick him out of any crowd due to his towering height. Bertholdt nearly noticed the blonde at the same time and gave him a short but friendly wave as he waited in the short line for the ball to come to him. Save for the varsity team, the gym was practically empty. A few kids were hanging out sparingly along the bleachers, more than likely just waiting for their friends to finish like him. He found a seat near the bottom, almost hoping no one he shared a class with would come up and pester him as to why he absent. 

 

Reiner pulled out his phone again and started to mindlessly scroll to pass the time, double tapping at nearly anything relatively interesting to keep his feed alive.

 

“Reinerrrrrrrr! Hi!” the melodic voice pulled him out of his monotonous activity. He snapped his head up to the quaint figure standing at the bottom of the bleachers, clad in a maroon, gold and white cheerleading uniform. 

 

Historia Reiss. Cheerleading captain. Avid animal rights advocator. President of the gardening club. Total girl next door meets the dog whisperer. And, one of Reiner’s closest friends.

“Oh, what’s up, Historia?” the blonde happily grinned as the smaller blonde ran up the bleachers to wrap her arms half of the way around his waist in a loving hug. 

“I missed you today, physics isn’t the same without you there.” she cutely pouted and giggled although a bit of lingering concern shone through.

 

“Ha, well of course you did, it ain’t fun unless I’m there to liven up Moblit’s stiffening lectures.” he laughed. “This school is gonna be lacking when I graduate.”

 

“Psh, I’m pretty sure all the underclassmen will be more relieved than anything that they won’t have to see your gorilla mug around anymore.” Reiner turned around to see Ymir approach them from the side. 

 

The tall brunette girl slinked an arm around the shorter blonde. “I know I’ll be relieved when we graduate, I won’t have to deal with you trying to weasel your way  _ into _ my girl.”

 

Historia blushed and gave Ymir a light shove, “stop joking like that, Ymir. Reiner isn’t like that and you know it.”

This was true. Although he thought Historia was preciously cute, with big bright blues that complimented her golden locks, and a warming personality to match, he had no desire for her romantically or any woman to be honest. 

Reiner unintentionally drowned out Ymir’s typical teasing and attempts to show her ass, instead, his attention falling onto a certain tall brunette  _ boy.  _ The team was doing a mock game and Bertholdt’s side currently possessed the ball. Eren Jaeger, the team’s hasty point guard, took the ball down the court, passing down the center. When he became heavily guarded he reluctantly passed the ball to an even hastier, Jean Kirschtein, who was wide open from the three-point line. Jean, upon receiving the ball, hesitated for a second before he pulled up with a floating shot. The ball ricocheted off the rim, but Bertholdt used his fingers and gracefully guided the ball back into the basket, despite the heavy defense at the goal. 

Just as Eren was about to lay into Jean for missing an easy shot, the coach blew his whistle. The team all filed into a huddle, assumingly listening to comments on their playing and things to improve on. Bertholdt stood in the back, being the tallest, respectively. His wood coloured eyes attentive to the huddle, even as he pushed sweaty chocolate bangs out of his face that clung like glue, towering over his fellow teammates and even their coach, who to be fair, was barely 5’3. A few moments later, the team broke with a chant, ending the practice. 

“Oi, fathead. Are you even listening?” Ymir said giving Reiner a light slap on his shoulder.

He felt a tinge of embarrassment but hid it well as he teased back, “no, actually I wasn’t. When you start speaking, I stop giving a damn.” 

“Oh wow, I’m so hurt.” Ymir dramatized by putting her hand over her heart.

“That’s surprising, I didn't know you had feelings.” the blonde shot back again, with a laugh.

Historia piped in, “don’t you two get tired of bickering like this?” she picked up her cheerleading bag, “I’ll see you around, Reiner.” she said as she pat the sitting blonde on the head. “Come on Ymir, my parents will kill me if I’m late getting home today.” she stood and walked off, and the brunette followed but not before flipping Reiner off who happily returned it, “love you too, freckles!” he shouted.

 

His echoing voice drew Eren’s attention, who jogged over meeting him at the bottom of the stands. 

“What’s up, man? It’s a lil too late to join the team” Eren laughed, “although if we had you as a center, we could definitely intimidate the other teams in the paint.”

“Haha, trust me when I say this body is not equipped to play basketball. I already let you coax me into wrestling. I’m good on this.”

“Yeah, but you liked it! Plus you were good as hell. You only lost two matches the whole season!”

 

The blonde shrugged, “eh, I was decent, plus I started the season late.” Just then Bertholdt slinkingly walked up to the pair. 

“Hey, Reiner oh and  good practice today, Eren.” 

Eren flashed a set of pearly whites, “right? You worked really hard out there. Playoffs are gonna be like a breeze.”

Bertholdt nodded.

“Aren’t they in like two weeks?” Reiner asked curiously. 

Eren spoke up, “hell yeah, and we are gonna be well prepared to beat some Titan ass!” he said in a chant-like manner, pumping his fist and earning a few ‘hell yeahs’ from his teammates who were within an earshot. Bertholdt looked down and shuffled his feet, while Reiner joined him in his confident banter. The Rose County Titans were their rival school in basketball and they often met at state championships.

“Wait, guys. Don’t you both know the PG for that team,” Eren remembered?

“You mean Marcel? Yeah, we all grew up together.” Bertholdt piped up.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Oh, he’s gonna give you a run for your money, Eren.” Reiner laughed, agging the green-eyed boy on.

“Psh. He’s no match for me.” Eren scoffed, and then after taking a long pause, he looked up at the timid brunette.

“Hey Bertholdt, if---no, when we play Rose County, I want you to go all the way it. Block all the bastards shots.” Eren said calmly and coldly with so much intent in those green eyes, that even Reiner felt a chill.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

Bertholdt waited for Reiner to unlock his car with his key fob and opened the passenger’s door meeting the familiar black interior.

Reiner followed, climbing inside, plugging his phone into the aux, “anything you wanna hear?” the blonde asked without looking up. Usually, when people rode with him especially Connie or Eren, they had to put up with whatever he played, but he was always considerate of Bertholdt. 

“I don’t care, anything is fine with me man.” Reiner picked one of his Spotify playlists and hit shuffle.

He drove out of the parking lot, yielding to get on the street. The pair rode in comfortable silence. Reiner glanced away from the road for a second at his best friend, whose long slender fingers were typing away at the screen.

“Damn, Bertl. Who are you texting so diligently, man? Save some pussy for the rest of us,” he laughed.

Bertholdt sighed. Reiner possessed a crude mouth that sometimes even made him cringe. “Annie,” he answered. 

 

Reiner looked at him as he approached the stop sign leading into their neighbourhood.  _ Why, Annie? _

“Hehe, I didn’t know you and shorty were like that.” although Reiner was curious as hell about their relationship, he tried to subtly pry. 

“Like  _ what? _ ” Bertholdt asked, barely glancing away from his phone.

The stocky blonde rolled his eyes internally.

_ Really, Bertl? _

 

Reiner didn’t reply and Bertholdt slid his phone into the pocket his gym shorts. As Reiner pulled into the driveway of the Hoover residence, Bertholdt looked over at the blonde.

“Hey, man. Um, did everything go okay today?” Reiner grunted and added along with a shrug. “Went the way it always does,” he said as he turned off the ignition and took his foot off the brake. Bertholdt tried not to look at him with worry in his eyes, so instead, he blurted out the only thing he could think of that would definitely change the subject: “I think I like Annie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, excuse the extensive basketball talk. I grew up on it so I'm knowledgeable in that subject.  
> -when he says "in the paint" he's referring to the part of the court that is painted around the basket.  
> -also, maroon and gold were my high school colors so there’s that


	2. Cloudy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first, and far from last, peek into Reiner's past. Plus Porco is a lil shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may seem like this fic is a lil fast paced but trust me, it won't be... I'm just laying the groundwork.

Reiner couldn’t conclude exactly why he felt so ill but, what he did know was, he’d felt like this since his best friend confided his feelings about their mutual ‘friend’ to him.  _ So what? Bertl likes Annie. Why does that bother me?  _

He walked through the kitchen, which led to the garage. It was after dinner, and although he preferred to workout before eating, he settled for this over nothing at all. He flipped a switch turning on the light, revealing a bench press, a treadmill, a weight bar, ranging in many different sizes and shapes. It was nothing extensive like what they had at Trost Fitness but it was his and it was convenient. Reiner scoffed at the set, not because he wasn’t appreciative but remembering how and why he received it.

 

He was eight when he showed an interest in football, idolizing big name players and begging his mom to buy him a football, which she happily did because he usually never asked for much. He wasn’t that big of a kid and often got his ass handed to him while rough housing and playing with the other boys in the neighbourhood, considering no one really could grasp the rules enough to focus on more than the ‘tackling’ part. One day, Marcel’s brother, Porco, who was almost two years younger, was having one of his pissy days and being the younger, sometimes Marcel would shoo him off, teasingly suggesting that he go play with another kid from the neighbourhood his age, that just so happened to be a girl. 

Porco stomped on the ground, turning red in the face before whining. “Come on, Marcel. I want to play with you guys!” He pleaded, “I may be little-er but I’m strong. I bet you a hundrenmillion dollars I’m stronger than Reiner!! That’s not fair that he gets to play and I don’t!” Reiner pleaded his case, “it’s my ball, Porc and I bet you ain’t stronger than me!!”

Marcel rolled his eyes, “just leave him alone Reiner and go home Porco, so we can play,” he said clenching Reiner’s ball in his hand and pointing in the direction of their house. 

As Porco was being to give up, Reiner added fuel to the fire. “If you wanna play wit’ someone go play wit’ Pieck or somethin,” Reiner teased. 

Porco turned an even brighter red, “I’m NOT gonna play wit a girl,” he stomped again and started to run, but instead of running in the direction of his house, he ran at Reiner, tackling him and laying punches on the blonde, who struggled but couldn’t get the younger one off of him. “MARCEL, GET HIM OFF ME!” Reiner muffled while hiding his face in his arms. It took Marcel and another neighbourhood boy to remove Porco, and when he stumbled to his feet, he laid a finalizing kick to the blonde’s torso. 

“SEE I TOLD YOU, YOU OWE ME A MILLIONHUNDREN DOLLARS BRAUN!” Porco victoriously chanted. Marcel looked around, to see if any adults saw, and assessed the situation. Reiner was nearly in sobs, hunched over, head in his chest. 

Marcel leaned over, “listen, please don’t tell on Porco, Reiner. I’m gonna take him home okay, I’m sorry Reiner..” And in the next second, Marcel grabbed his younger brother by the arm, and started sprinting, pulling him home. Since none of the other neighbourhood boys wanted to get in trouble, they all also ran to their respective houses save for Bertholdt, who was still in shock. 

When a few moments passed, he finally snapped out of it and dropped over to Reiner, offering him a clammy hand. “Y-you’re gonna be o-okay, right?” he nervously asked the blonde. Reiner looked up at chocolate bangs and wood colored eyes that were warming and genuinely concerned. He already felt better and could feel hot tears in his eyes drying.

Reiner took his hand and struggled to his feet. “Yeah, I think so… um, thanks Bertholdt.” The blonde felt slightly embarrassed, realization sinking in that he’d just been beaten by someone two years his junior. 

Following that incident, not only did Bertholdt’s and Reiner’s friendship grow, but so did the boys. When Reiner was thirteen, he was finally able to convince his mom to let him play organized football, joining his middle school team. 

“Honey, are you sure you won’t get hurt out there? You aren’t as big as the other boys.” his mother looked over the permission packet with concern.

“Yeah, mom I’ll be fine. Plus, I’ll be careful and the coach is really cool and like almost a pro.” the excitement in the boy’s golden eyes was enough to convince his mom.

She filled out all the necessary paperwork and ruffled the blonde’s hair. “Just be careful, son.”

 

All the excitement and knowledge of the sport wasn’t enough and Reiner quickly realized how he didn’t even compare to the other boys, which included Porco. 

“Dammit!” the blonde cursed, as he promised to himself under his breath that he will not only surpass Porco, but everyone he that witnessed what happened a few years ago. He’d swore he’d become stronger. 

And he did.

 

He worked hard, after having a meek first year, he had trained enough over summer that he could start to see himself bulking up. When they started freshman academy, Bertholdt was already nearly six feet and while Reiner hadn’t hit the peak of his growth spurt, he was well toned and possibly the most built of his year.

Their classmates were pretty much in awe when they saw the now inseparable pair. Joking about their sizes and asking ‘what had  _ they done _ over the summer.

At the start of the season, Reiner easily became a starter and was often asked to play with the JV team at the high school when they needed someone as a reserve. His incredible speed which he maintained at his size made him a capable running back, but he needed to bulk up a little more to have more power. The team workouts were okay, but he really needed to develop his strength building routine. 

He considered asking his mom if she could help, but she’d just started a new job and they were not yet able to financially afford anything such as equipment or expensive memberships. 

So, Reiner swallowed his pride and called his father.

 

_ Please leave a message at the beep. _

“Um, hi dad…” long pause. “It’s Reiner, your son.” Nervous laugh. “Hey, I know I haven’t spoken to you in a while but I made the football team.. Hehe, I’m pretty good too. I just need to build my strength and I could be one of the best... Well, anyway.” He could feel himself starting to choke up. “...you know, you should come watch me sometime. Mom doesn’t really get a chance to since she works a lot, but I guess you’re pretty busy too.” The blonde hesitated before letting his last words flow out like vomit, “anyway, I’ll talk to you later… I love you, dad.”

He hit the end call button and clutched his phone tightly.  _ He’ll call back. He’ll call back. _

He never did.

 

Instead, a few days later, Reiner was sent gym equipment, catching gloves, barbells, weights, restraint bands and other stuff to build his skill.

He was in awe and thankful, but he couldn’t help but feel solemness inching deep in his heart.

 

_ Damn, dad. You could’ve at least called me back. _

 

\------------------------------

 

The blonde pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing a brawny pair of arms, and well-built torso. He sighed and began to stretch, trying to rid himself of his thoughts of today. He walked over to his pull up bar and latched on, doing several pull-ups. He almost let himself wonder what his father was up to, but he already knew.  _ Can’t be bothered with me when you have another family, huh old man?  _

He paused before pulling himself up a few more times, not succeeding in emptying his mind, he let his focus linger to the feeling in his gut. 

_ Wait. Do I like Annie? _ He did a few more.  _ No way. If I was gonna like a girl I’d definitely be someone like Historia and Annie is her polar opposite.  _ He let go of the bar and moved on to doing pushups on the floor.

_ Then why am I bothered that Bertl likes Annie. _

He plugged in his ipod to the speaker, being sure to turn it down first, as to not bother his mom who was probably tired, considering she didn’t even pester him as hard as she normally does on his appointment days. Although he was compliant at dinner and offered up the gist up front. 

_ “Reiner, he’s there to help you. You have to open up to him about what you’re feeling or you’ll never get better.” _

_ “I know, mom. I’ll try harder. I promise.” _

 

After he felt he was warmed up enough, he moved onto his weight bar, carefully adding on weight until he reached his desired amount of 385.

He moved in front of his mirror to watch his form as he deadlifted the weight with ease, adding more as he went.

_ What does Bertl even see in shorty? She’s cold as hell. I mean she’s okay looking but also kinda scary, plus I’m like twice her weight and she could flip me with ease. She’s a monster. _

Reiner noticed his form slipping, and worked to correct it, riding his curious mind of Annie and his best friend.

 

When he finished, it was nearly 10 pm. He took a quick shower, after flexing in the mirror and checking out his work. He was proud. He worked hard and made this body. He said he wouldn’t be the little bitch that Galliard beat up, forever. 

 

After he finished he looked at the notes Bertholdt had given him for economics. Everything was organized and neat. He even highlighted specific things that Coach Levi empathized, nearly guaranteeing they would be on the upcoming quiz. Reiner set about to copying them making sure to leave sticky notes in his book as well. He usually wasn’t this pretentious about his studies but with less three months before graduation, he couldn’t afford to start slipping yet. 

He finished up and put Bertholdt’s notes at the front so he could be sure to give them to him to him tomorrow.

Reiner put everything away and flipped the light switch, before collapsing on his bed. His body was worn out, so all he could do was hope that his mind would follow for once. Although, he doubted it.

Usually, he’d send Bertholdt a text, but for some reason tonight he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

_ What is wrong with me? _


	3. Thunderhead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know but consider this filler bc I'm at work and pissed off.
> 
> it's good filler tho~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna be real, I can't write for shit and I end my chapters in the worst places so sorry  
> also, day two of updating and I just uploaded this last night~
> 
> pls read my horrible work and tell me you love me...  
> wait. what?

Reiner begrudgingly and sleepily swallowed his medication.  _ Do mood stabilizers even work? _

He wanted nothing more than to lie in bed all day, especially after tossing and turning for the majority of the night. 

      But. 

He convinced himself today would be a good day.         Despite missing four hours of sleep, Reiner was feeling strangely in a great mood. 

        He fumbled through his closet for something to wear, deciding on a lightweight, grey Nike hoodie, dark washed jeans and a pair of sneakers. He ran his fingers through his low cut, sunflower hair as he looked in his door mirror. He grabbed his bag and keys and headed for the door after telling his mom goodbye and giving the shorter woman a kiss on the cheek. 

——————-

 

“What the fuck do you mean, Jean?! That was a perfect pass, you just hesitated.. even Levi said so!”

     Reiner could hear Eren and Jean going at it before he reached their table. Nothing new. Reiner sat on the edge of the half wall right beside the table. This had been their corner to hang out before class starts ever since they all became a group. 

      “Dude, tell this horse-faced jackass that he fucked up that play yesterday, you saw it right?!” Eren pleaded with the blonde. 

     Before he could answer Jean was in Eren’s face, and the pair were butting heads. A dark-haired boy with freckles grabbed Jean’s arm. “Look, Jean. Don’t get mad but it was you that messed up but it’s okay. We all make mistakes. We’ve all made some poor shots, including you Eren.” Marco calmly told the pair, which worked. Marco was usually the mediator for Jean and Eren’s daily bickers but sometimes it was Mikasa, who usually ended it by pissing Eren off more by treating him like a child. 

        Jean calmed down and sat back in his seat next to Marco, putting an arm around his shoulder and pulling him close, predatorily. 

 

_ He does that because he knows Marco is too good for him.  _

__ Reiner pulled out his phone, with intentions on sending Bertholdt a text. The man slept like a brick and he wasn’t at school yet so he was worried he overslept. It happened in the past so much that Reiner began calling him the second he got up. Insomnia usually had him in bed late and up early so he was pretty much always on time. 

**Reiner:**

_ hey buddy, u didn’t oversleep again did you? _

 

   Eren looked at Reiner, “hey, where’s Bertholdt?” 

The burly blonde shrugged in response, “I don’t know, we didn’t ride together today.”

“Oh. That’s weird.” Eren said as he hopped up on the wall to sit beside Reiner, “you two are usually joined at the hip, this is the first morning you two haven’t come in together or at least within minutes of each other.”

    “Haha, that’s not how it is.. there’s plenty of times we aren’t together in the mornings.” Reiner tried to think of a time, save for days one of them was absent and he couldn’t think of one circumstance. “Not like you can talk, Jaeger, you’re always joined at the hip with Armin.”

“Yeah, but Armin has like all his smart club things most mornings”

“You mean class president duties? That has nothing to do with your knowledge, man. It’s more about your capabilities.”

“...you know what I mean but you’re right, there’s no one more capable than Armin!” Eren smiled, showing his pearly whites again. There was something cute about the boy that Reiner just couldn’t put his finger on, something that drew people to him despite his childish nature sometimes. 

      “Looks like you think about him a lot, huh?” Reiner teased. They all knew Eren was gay a couple years ago when he swore that when he graduated he would seduce Coach Levi. Although that dream died before it started, as Mikasa broke the news that he had a thing with the school’s principal and that she was  _ positive _ about it because Levi was her cousin. 

    Just as Eren opened his mouth to contest, Bertholdt arrived… along with Annie Leonhart. 

    “Speak of the Devil,” he completed. Although by devil he more so meant Annie. Bertholdt and Annie made their way down to the table, but not before Sasha grabbed the blonde’s arm and asking if she could copy her homework for math. 

    Annie yanked her arm back, choosing to say nothing and following behind Bertholdt. 

    “Good morning guys,” Bertholdt said theatrically with a sleepy yawn. 

     “Good morning, Bertholdt” Marco answered politely. “sup, bra” Eren said in a fake accent, as Jean decided to ignore everyone after being put down like a vicious dog by Marco. 

Seems as if Reiner was taking the same route because even he chose to say nothing. 

     Annie didn’t speak much, and if she did it was usually to Reiner and Bertholdt as a pair, sometimes Mikasa when they weren’t feuding, Armin and sometimes Marco. 

    Bertholdt and Annie made light conversation with each other and Reiner’s emptying mood came back, washing away any hope he had for a good day. Instead, he calmly got up, choosing to go ahead to his locker, the first bell would ring in a bit anyway. He turned his phone on silent and slid it into his pocket. 

     The notion did not go unnoticed though, as Eren side eyed him. 

_ I wonder what’s up with him,  _ the green-eyed boy thought. 

 

By the time his third period rolled around, Reiner was ill. Not only was he dead tired, he always had an aching feeling that he couldn’t shake. Economics class was one of his faves because he, Bertholdt, Eren, Connie, and Jean shared that class. Although Levi was tough and didn’t take any tomfoolery in his class, he was cool and honestly kinda humorous. Not to mention, it was so easy to learn in his classroom because it was always spotless. 

 

   But today, this was the last place he wanted to be. He took his seat which was in the middle of Jean and Bertholdt with Eren sitting behind him and Connie behind Jean. 

 

    Reiner pulled out his economics book and his binder, opening his binder. 

_ Oh.  _ He said as he saw the papers written in Bertholdt’s handwriting. He pulled them free from the pocket and slapped them softly on the brunette’s desk, without saying a word. 

 

    “You’re welcome, Reiner.” Bertholdt joked, reminding him to be polite. 

     “yeah, thanks”

Bertholdt gave Reiner a puzzling look but before he could say anything the bell rung, starting class and Eren and Jean came sprinting in one behind the other. 

    Eren plopped at his desk giving Connie a high five behind him. “YES, made it in before Levi could notice.”

A few seconds later, Levi entered and closed the door. 

 

“Kirschstein. Jaeger. You’re late.” 

He turned to face the board, “it’s okay though because you both are gonna clean the gym floor after practice.” He calmly began writing instructions on the board for their group assignment. 

 

“Goddammit, now we gotta clean up all Bertholdt’s sweat,” Jean said lightly but loud enough for him to hear it. Eren laughed and Bertholdt half-assed apologized, “sorry about that… but next time I bet you won’t be late.”

 

“damn, I guess he told you two.” Connie piped in. Usually, Reiner did too but he was not in the mood for banter right now. 

 

“Yeah, how sassssy Bertllll…” Jean sing-songed, mocking Reiner’s nickname to bring him into the conversation. 

 

Bertholdt blushed a little, turning to look at Reiner who wasn’t paying attention. Reiner was currently staring of into space with empty eyes, that showed tiredness. 

Bertholdt tapped his hand with those always clammy fingers, “aye, man. earth to Reiner? do you answer?”

 

The feel of Bertholdt’s familiarity brought him out of the daze. “oh what? sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

 

“Oh, you think you might need to go home?” Bertholdt asked with concern, still whispering so Levi wouldn’t berate him too. 

 

“Nah man, I’m good.”

 

“Okay, good.”

 

“...so, that’s what your assignment is. Get into groups of four to complete it, and we will have a test on the packet Monday morning so you brats had better spend your time in groups wisely.”

 

Since there was an odd number of students, the five usually worked together when Levi assigned group work. They all turned their desks together in a circle. 

 

“Oi, Jaeger. Get up here and pass out the paperwork. I’ll be walking around ensuring that all of you stay on task.” 

 

Eren went up and grabbed the stack, handing out four packets per group. 

“T-thanks, Eren.” Mina shyly said, taking the papers for her group. 

“No problem.”

 

When he reached his table he passed around the stack so everyone could grab one. 

Reiner examined the questions. “Fuck, it’s like a hundred questions on this bitch.”

 

Connie groaned. “Ugh, I can’t wait til we graduate.”

 

“Man are you sure you’re gonna?” Jean asked seriously. 

 

“What? Of course. I’m like a genius. I have better grades than anyone in this group.”

 

The five laughed, “Nah, I think Bertholdt has the best grades out of us all.” Eren corrected. “Anyway, there's a hundred questions, so we each get 20 to look up. I’ll take the first 20, Jean will do the next, then Reiner and Bertholdt and Connie has the last 20. We can always study together after practice too.”

 

“Eh, I’m going to Sasha’s after school,” Connie said, unconcerned. 

 

“Don’t you have baseball practice?” Bertholdt asked, opening his book, already getting started on his set of questions. 

 

“No, but we do have early morning Saturday practice. It’s mid-season so we get Friday nights off.”

 

“Why not do it Sunday? So the material is fresh on our minds on Monday?” Bertholdt suggested. 

 

The group simultaneously nodded in agreement. “Good idea, that way maybe even someone as dumb as Connie can hold the material.”

 

They all laughed except Connie who just waved it off as ‘whatever.’

 

“Oh yeah, you all can just stay Saturday night at my place if you’re coming to my shindig.”

 

“That’s a good idea, Connie. I still gotta ask mom though, sometimes she trips hella hard. Never with Mikasa though.” Eren rolled his eyes. 

 

“That’s because Mikasa is nearly perfect and then there’s you.” Jean said as he flipped through Chapter 16, “shit, here comes coach.”

 

The five all flipped through pages diligently, Eren even asking about a certain problem he was “stuck on.” Levi walked about the group looking at their work. 

“Why does only Bertholdt and Jean have anything on their papers?” The five boys looked at each other and before anyone could answer, Levi slapped a ruler on whichever desk was closest to him, which just so happened to be Reiner’s, startling the whole class. 

 

“Get it together, you all are passing but don’t think I won’t fail you, especially you Jaeger. I’ll strip you of your position if I have to, just in time for playoffs, makes no difference to me.” And with that he was off

 

“Hey, why did he practically only threaten me?!” The group looked at Eren and shook their heads, actually starting on their assignment. 

 

———————

 

Reiner sat in his last class of the day, literally counting the minutes. His head was pounding from a headache, which wasn’t unusual but his mood was still less than good. Any little thing would set him off, and he had a feeling this certain little thing would be Ymir. 

 

They sat at the same table in three-dimensional art class, and although he took the class just for a credit, he actually ended up enjoying it. Even though they butted heads a lot, she was okay to be around… sometimes. But, today wasn’t one of those times. 

 

“Oi, Reiner. That looks like shit.” They’d finished their projects for that section so the teacher pretty much assigned them the busy work of making beads. 

 

“Oi, Ymir. Shut the fuck up.” Reiner said mockingly.  _ Just 30 more minutes.  _

“Who pissed in your cereal this morning. You’ve been weird all day.” Ymir said as she dipped a rolled bead in mod podge. 

Reiner tried his best to ignore her but Ymir was not the type to give up so easily.

“Look asshole, it’s not my fault your boyfriend didn’t pay any attention to you today, maybe he’s tired of your moody ass.” Ymir cursed, “stop being a little bitch.”

 

That was it. Reiner slammed his hands down on the table, spilling the glue-water mixture. “Ymir, I asked you once to shut the fuck up. How about  _ you  _ stop being a bitch for once and take your immature ass elsewhere.” 

 

At this point, the whole class was staring and Miss Nifa was looking intently, well braced to kick one of them out of class. 

 

Ymir started laughing insanely, “haha, you actually think your threats, scare me? I don’t care, raise your voice all you want. Scream at the top of your lungs. You’re only upset because I hit a nerve.” She dared to push him a little further, because she was ruthless, “ god, are you gonna be a pathetic mess when Bertholdt completely drops you for Annie.” she shrugged. 

 

Reiner grabbed her by the shirt, hoisting her up. “LOOK HERE BITCH, YOU DONT KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT ME!” In an instant, Nifa broke the pair up, “both of you, to the office now. I’m gonna call up there and let them know you’re on the way. I don’t know what you have both have going on but you better settle it by Monday!” She threatened. 

 

Reiner grabbed his things and stomped to the principal’s office, while Ymir laughed, and straighten out her shirt. She scoffed and headed for the door. “Later, bitches.” She called back to the class, Miss Nifa called out to her, “Watch your mouth, Ymir or I’ll have you scrubbing brushes every day until you graduate!”

 

——————

 

“So what seems to be the problem today? I hardly ever have you in my office anymore Mr. Braun but Ymir is a different story.”

 

The pair sat in large oval chairs right in front of Erwin Smith’s desk. The office was very ‘Erwin Smith’: professional, browns and yellows, with bookcases around the walls. Behind his desk there were numerous awards and his accomplishments along with his five college degrees all in numerous studies. 

 

“I thought I was sent here to get disciplined. You don’t look like disciplinary Principle Dok..” Ymir said in a smart tone. Reiner gave her a side eye glance and rolled his eyes.  _ Can this girl ever NOT show her ass? _

 

“What an observation, young lady. However…” Erwin paused adjusting his pale green tie, that complimented his ocean eyes, “I wanted to access the situation to see if you both needed discipline or if this was a dispute between friends, but if you’re so willing, Ms. Ymir I can send you to Principal Dok’s office. Yet, be fairly warned, he is tired of seeing you in his off so I can’t guarantee you leniency.” 

 

Ymir sunk down in the chair. “I was just curious, please proceed, sir” sarcasm heavy on tone. 

 

“As I was saying… Reiner, can you tell me what happened?”

Reiner explained his side of the story, putting emphasis on the fact that  _ he _ was the one that lost his cool, even apologizing to Ymir. Erwin was empathetic, knowing Reiner’s situation. 

He allowed Ymir to tell her part of the story but she declined, pretty much agreeing that everything Reiner said was true. 

Erwin looked at the pair intently, as if trying to peek down into their psyche. Reiner stared back at the polished man in front of him. Erwin was an inch taller than him, with similar broadness. He possessed eyes that reminded Reiner of salty oceans and high cheekbones. He wasn’t his type but he couldn’t disagree that Erwin was gorgeous as hell. At that moment though the only thing he could think about was praying that Erwin didn't call his mom.

 

“So, I’ve decided. I won’t punish either of you but, I will let Miss Nifa choose a punishment for disrupting her class. If that’s all, I’ll send you both on off on your way for day, considering the bell will be ringing in five minutes. Have a good weekend.” Ymir nearly hopped out of her seat, closing the door behind her before Reiner even had a chance to get up.

 

“Actually, Reiner, can I have a moment of your time.” Erwin smiled, giving him a reassuring look. Reiner was feeling skeptic but remained seated anyway. 

 

Erwin crossed his hands over his desk. “Has everything been going well in your classes, Reiner?”

 

Reiner nodded his head, “yes sir”

 

“Graduation is well approaching and you have many talents, young man. I’d love to see you complete many accomplishments but, conquer your battles at this level first. The war is not over until you walk across the stage. If things get too tough, you can always come to see me.”

 

Reiner thanked Erwin for his kind words, although he felt insecure like he was judging him. He took his words at face value. The echoing bell could be heard, profoundly inside of the spacious office.

 

“Ah, well I guess that’s my cue. Have a good weekend, Reiner. You’re free to go.”

Reiner stood, as did Erwin and he gave him a firm handshake. The younger blonde left the office, closing the door behind him.

  
  


The hallways were flushed, it seemed everyone was ready for the weekend as students flooded out of the school. Reiner followed suit, but Eren managed to pick him through the crowd. 

“Hey, Reiner! Over here!” the brunette boy frantically waved to get his attention. Reiner had the half mind to ignore him, Eren had that look in his eyes and Reiner didn’t want to deal with any more antics for today. But, the golden-locked boy, followed anyway.

 

“Dude, what the fuck happened in Nifa’s class?!” Eren gasped.  _ Fuck. _

“Nothing really man, just Ymir being a bitch, the usual…” Reiner cautioned.

“Well… I saw the video and---”

_ Wait. There’s a video?! Double fuck. _

“Look, Eren. It’s not what it looks like, you know Ymir seems to try to egg me on and I fell into it.” Reiner tried to explain himself putting equal blame on each other.

Eren wasn’t paying much attention to what Reiner was saying and was more into the video, “I mean, I knew you were strong and I know Ymir isn’t big, but she’s muscle and height and you were holding her off the ground with one hand. And, look at how scared she looks when you first grabbed her. Like I know I shouldn’t be laughing because you could probably kill her, but she’s deserved it. Her and Bertholdt are close right?”

 

Reiner shook his head, “yeah, somethin’ like that.” 

 

“Well if she was worth a shit, she wouldn’t have run her mouth like that, if anyone has anything to say you did it for Bert’s sake but I doubt anyone will… we all get tired of Ymir. The only person that never gets tired of her is Historia.” Eren patted Reiner on the back, “You’re like someone everyone looks up to, and you were keeping Ymir in check. No one is gonna think badly of you.” Eren looked in the direction of the gym and started that way still lingering his conversation  

 

“Haha, besides… you're kinda hot when you’re angry like that.” Eren grinned, running off to practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk about u guys but we had 3 principals, one was the like over the school, the second handled discipline and the third one was like one you went to when you had class issues. just in case that seemed weird to anyone.
> 
> also, just a disclaimer... i'm not really violent and i don't want a violent pic or to paint rei as a person w bpd or did that is always angry. so yeah, not sure were i was going w that


	4. Misty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it’s been awhile~ 
> 
> since this fic has transpired I’ve—  
> •dropped out of college and got back into it  
> •started anime editing  
> •stopped seeing my therapist  
> •gotten out of a messy relationship 
> 
> sorry I’ve been gone so long but I’ve been a mess. hopefully I can update my other fics.  
> this is my least popular one but it’s my fav and I’m so thankful to the 2 of you that read this omg i love u guys~
> 
> if anyone ever wants to talk to me just dm me @juixt on ig

  
“It’s okay. I know you want him. Right now, we are both the same. Two guys looking to feel something different even if it’s just for a moment, you don’t have to deny yourself this pleasure.” Eren said lowly against the Reiner’s ear as he desperately clung to him.

“I know, I just want to be sure… that it’s, you know, okay with you.”

“If you’re asking for consent, trust me. It’s all yours..”

And with those words, Eren licked the outer edge of the blonde’s ear and nibbled on it gently before using his tongue to trace down the the fair exposed skin of his neck.

Although Reiner was becoming heady with pleasure, he couldn’t help but wonder how exactly he’d ended up here with the normally bright eyed boy who’s green eyes were now heavily lidded with lust. It became clear one last time before he let himself become consumed by Eren…

Saturday morning.

Reiner woke up to blinding midday sun rays creeping through the sliver of space between his curtains. He turn over, grabbing his phone off the nightstand beside his bed.

12:48 pm.

Wow. I slept that long, huh?

  
He wondered why his mom hadn’t woke him up, she never let him sleep this long but he remembered she had early morning shifts at the hospital across town, this weekend.

He groaned, not wanting to leave the comforting fabric but he had things to do.

I could just cancel, he considered for a brief moment.

Do not withdraw. Do not sink into a depressive episode.  
  
If you cancel you won’t have to deal with people.

But those people are my friends.

Are you sure? They could very well function without you. They don’t need you. Do they even want you around.

Of course they do. They’re my friends. They care about me.

Do they? Seems like your best friend has replaced you.

He’s allowed to have other friends.

But Annie? He likes her. He doesn’t need you because he has her.

He doesn’t need me because he has her.

Bertholdt doesn’t need me.

But-

….I need him.

Reiner sat on the edge of his bed. Fuck. Why am I overreacting over this shit. Me and Bertholdt will always be friends. Best friends. Since we were eight. He can have a girlfriend, and still be my friend. I mean he’s had other crushes and so have I why is it an issue now.

And then a realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

Wait. Do I like Bertholdt?

Reiner stared off into space for several moments until a familiar pattern of dings pulled him out of it. He picked his phone up off the bed and answered the call.

“Hey sleepy head, you’re finally up.”

Speaking of the devil. Reiner thought, imitating Eren’s voice in his head.

“Yeah, I slept in.”

There was a pause. It initially worried Bertholdt but he decided not to pry.

“So. You’re going to Connie’s party right?”

“Yeah I guess man. Are you?”

Reiner knee Bertholdt hated parties and he usually just tagged along because Reiner went but he always ended up having a good time in the end.

“I don’t know. I’ll probably sit this one out. I’ll still come over to study the next day though.”

The blonde was pretty surprised but he was too tired to physically show how he felt inside so all he asked was why.

“Well, I was going to hang out with Annie and-“

Reiner cut him off using the newfound energy he had upon hearing the blondes name.

“You know she’s probably invited too though right?”

“Yeah but neither one of us really likes parties plus Connie’s can get kinda wild. I mean we were gonna just hang out and watch movies, or whatever.”

Reiner felt himself start to get overly agitated. When had they become this close. Were they always this close. Did Reiner just miss it? What changed the last few days that made it obvious?

“Bertl, how long have you liked Annie?”

“Well,” the brunette began, “for awhile. I mean when we all hung out as kids I thought she was cute, well after I found out girls didn’t have cooties. I mean when we all got transferred to Trost county she was always just there. I started paying more attention to her and I guess just noticing her. A few weeks ago I confided in Marco about it because I figured you’d tell her or come up with some kinda scheme to get me to talk to her. He just gave me a confidence boost and told me to comment on one of her snapstagram pictures. It took a couple of days and I did. We’ve been pretty much talking and I guess flirting since. It’s different when it’s just us two talking rather than in a group. She’s actually really loquacious once you break through her crystal shell.”

Reiner rolled his eyes so hard he felt that Bertholdt could feel it over the phone. What the hell. A few weeks was all it took to get her to break.

“Aren’t you moving too fast you know? I mean yeah you—we’ve known her since childhood but can you really have feelings for someone after a few weeks.”

“Are you really in the right to tell me about my feelings, Reiner? You’ve slept with people without knowing them at all. I never questioned you. Plus you’re almost acting as if you don’t like Annie. I thought we all were friends.”

...true.

Reiner had slept with girls at parties and even secretly a few guys, not that he cared. He didn’t claim any labels. He liked who he liked but sex was just sex. It was a release, an escape. Something to make his adrenaline rise without working out. He’d never slept with anyone he had feelings for. In fact, he had never been in an actual relationship yet. Bertholdt had a few girls he talked to here and there but it was never even close to serious.

Have I always assumed that Bertholdt would never be with anyone because I expected him to be with me? Did I know deep inside that he liked her but I chose to ignore it. They’re compatible. This is why I am upset. Because I know that he feels for Annie way differently than with any other girl.

“Not cool, Bertholdt. You know damn well there’s a difference between sex and actually dating someone.”

“Really Reiner? Are you really gonna do this, right now? Don’t you think it’s time that I do something on my own for once without you? I mean we are together so much that everyone probably thinks we are together.”

Before thinking, he accidentally let his words slip, “even if they do, who cares?”

Why did I say that??? He’s definitely gonna think something is up now...

Reiner could hear a muffled laugh from Bertholdt’s end and he felt relieved.

“Haha, you’re kidding right? Thanks but no thanks, Hah, the only blonde I want to be together with is Annie.” he said jokingly. He continued, “seriously though, I really like her and I think she likes me too.”

The blonde was silent for a few moments, he felt hurt but he understood. Bertholdt didn’t belong to him. His favourite person didn’t belong to him. He felt empty and abandoned.

“That’s good for you Bertl, I guess.”

“...I mean, if you want to you can come over too, Reiner.” Bertholdt suggested.

Nope. No way. Not a chance.

“Eh, thanks but not thanks. Hey, I gotta go I’ll talk to you later,” and with that, Reiner hung up barely waiting to hear his reply.

\----------------------------------

“Oi, it’s Reiner! Come on in, man!” Connie yelled over the music playing through the house. His parents were older, and already retired so they chose to spend their weekends on trips, entrusting their son a little too much.

Reiner gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, pushing through the door. It was barely 9pm and the modest two-story house was filled with people scattered about. Some people were crowded around the big screen, either watching or playing video games. Some were dancing to the rithmetic music, while others just stood around talking, red cups in tow.

“Heh, looks like you got a full house tonight.” Reiner said, slightly turning his head to the shorter man behind him.  
“Yeah, I guess everyone needs to destress, with graduation and finals coming up. Oh, speaking of destress… I have a present for you bud.” Connie reached into his pocket and pulled out a small baggie. “You know, since you’re always looking out for me and since you don’t really drink.”

Reiner took the baggie from him, examining it and pulling it up to his nose to inhale the potent marijuana. “Heh, you never disappoint do you, Connie?”

He grinned and motioned for the taller man to follow him into the kitchen. He waved and spoke to a few people that were hanging out near the archway. Being the star football player, and being naturally helpful, he was well-liked and well-known. In the kitchen, there was a ton a food and snacks. Some store bought, like the pizzas but the majority of it looked homemade. Reiner turned his head to Sasha, whose mouth was currently stuffed with chips and dip.

“Mmm, mi Meimer,” the girl said before taking a break to swallow.

“You know, she made most of this? Sasha’s a great cook!” Connie bragged.

“Really?” Reiner looked at her, taking a chip and dipping it into something that resembled rotel before biting into it. “Wow, yeah this is really good. Hey, what actually is this?”

The brunette said nothing, but she swallowed before laughing, “can't tell ya, big guy.”

Reiner instantly wondered if he should eat anything else, all in all she was a little on the weird side, “what do you mean ‘can’t tell me?’”

Sasha just laughed more, “I mean I can’t and I ain’t gonna tell ya. Issa secret recipe.”

Reiner awkwardly laughed, “alrighty then.”

Connie leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before stressing to her to ‘be sure to save some for everyone else.’  
Reiner started to walk out the room but Sasha stopped him, “wait, where’s Bertholdt?”

He felt himself tense up at his best friend’s name, remembering their conversation from earlier. He shrugged, “don’t know, don’t really care.” and walked off, unintentionally rudely.

  
Reiner found himself in alone in Connie’s bedroom. It’s pretty dull without Bertl here, he thought. Maybe he was too dependant on him, emotionally. The pair did everything together. Reiner had other friends, even close ones, like Connie, Eren, and Historia but no one could hold a candle to Bertholdt. He was his favourite person and he was not going to lose him.

Reiner broke up the sticky weed, carefully depositing it into an already gutted cigar. With careful fingers, he rolled the paper into a firm blunt, before sealing it with a lighter he found on Connie’s dresser. The room was partially dark, save for the illuminating moonlight that peeked through the open curtains.

He lit the opposite end, inhaling and savoring the green medicine. He sat on the floor against Connie’s bed and laid his head back on the mattress. The sound of the music downstairs echoing through the walls, the moonlit room, and good pot; He was oddly comfortable and the last thing he wanted was someone to come in, disrupting his peace. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and a bit high before he had to socialize with anyone.

Wishful thinking.

There were a series of knocks at the door, Reiner took another drag from the blunt, hoping that they’d just go away. The doorknob rattled and he heard a muffled voice on the other side.

“Ah, I knew I’d find you in here.”

Eren Jaeger uninvitingly sat down beside the blonde, “I guess even ‘the big brother’ needs a break too.”

Reiner took another pull then exhaled a soft cloud of smoke, he offered Eren the blunt with a small gesture and Eren took a chug the drink he was holding, before taking the green.

Reiner felt slightly heady as the weed marinated his body. “I guess. Although I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

“What? Come on, you know it strokes your ego,” Eren laughed with green eyes that met golden ones for a second and Reiner could have sworn there was something else lingering behind them.

The pair finished off the blunt and sat talking about nothing, sharing laughs over jokes that weren’t funny unless you were high.

“Hey, you know who I haven’t seen tonight?” Eren asked leaning his back against the foot of the bed, “Bert.” He answered himself, letting out a light laugh.

Reiner paused, even through the increasing haziness of his mind, he still was thinking about Bertholdt. “Ah, yeah man he had other plans,” he said as he looked down at his lap.

Eren glanced at him, green eyes full of intent. “Heh, him and Annie huh? Would’ve never thought that right?”

“What, wait? You knew?” Reiner asked with shock.

“Who didn’t?” Eren asked as he took a drink from his cup.

“Heheh, guess I was the only one” the blonde said lowly.

Eren peeped at him behind the cup still at his mouth, daring to push him a bit further, “you like him.”

If Reiner wasn’t high he probably would have heavily denied everything, guiltily but he had the anchor of good marijuana holding him afloat.

“Am I that obvious, Eren?”

Eren scooted closer to Reiner on the floor, “no but I know how unrequited love looks like and I can see it in your face, Ive been on the other side of the situation and it sucks for both sides.”

“yeah…”

There was a silence between the pair as they rolled another blunt. Before long they were back to joking around, heavy laughter filling the room.

“Hey, Reiner,” Eren nudged the blonde’s shoulder.  
  
“Hm?”

“You ever been fucked or do you usually do the fucking?”

The blonde paused before laughing so hard he was gripping his stomach.

“No seriously, I’m curious. Because you’re all strong and the example of masculinity but I know you’re a big softie so I just wanna know.”

Reiner playfully pushed the brunette, “you act like you’re asking for yourself, man.”

Eren looked at him with seriousness in his glare and Reiner caught on, laughter having completely stopped.

“Stop fucking around, Jaeger.”

In one swift movement, Eren pushed the burly blonde on his back and mounted him.

“I’m not fucking around, I’m curious about you. I like our friendship and I think you’re admirable and you’re always looking out for everyone. That’s hot as hell to me.”

Reiner looked up at him, jaw dropped. “Um, I mean.”

“It’ll just be between us, and nothing will change. We—well, you look like you need to let off some steam anyway.”

Eren pulled his own shirt over his head, and grabbed Reiner’s hand putting it to his chest. “Listen, you can trust me, I doubt someone this nervous would be lying about their intentions.”

Reiner still shocked, pulled his hand back. “But.. you know how I feel about Bertl, I don’t want you to think I’m using you. You’re one of my closest friends.”

“Reiner. It’s okay. I want to help you in the slightest bit. I haven’t been feeling it myself and I need to feel something other than guilt. I trust you. Which is why I don’t mind doing this with you.” He leaned down and kissed the blonde on the cheek before burying himself on his shoulder.

Reiner wanted to. He really did. Eren was cute, and so headstrong. He really liked that about him and he enjoyed being around the boy. He touched the brunette cheek turning him to face him. He was also nervous and hesitant about what to do next. The blonde pulled the brunettes face inches away from his own.

“Reiner,” Eren spoke lightly, “It’s okay. I know you want him. Right now, we are both the same. Two guys looking to feel something different even if it’s just for a moment, you don’t have to deny yourself this pleasure.” Eren said lowly against the Reiner’s ear as he desperately clung to him.

“I know, I just want to be sure… that it’s, you know, okay with you.”

“If you’re asking for consent, trust me. It’s all yours..”

And with those words, Eren licked the outer edge of the blonde’s ear and nibbled on it gently before using his tongue to trace down the the fair exposed skin of his neck.

Reiner grunted pushing Eren off of him and pulling him into his lap, taking his own shirt off in the process. The brunette wrapped his arms around his neck and licked the newly revealed skin, leaving kisses over the wide chest. Reiner wrapped his arms around Eren’s back and slowly reached into his jeans, kneading the firm ass through the thin layer of his boxers.

“Eren,” Reiner said breathily. “Are you sure?”

Eren nodded and pulled Reiner’s face to his own, kissing the blonde passionately.

“Yes, I’m sure. Reiner, please fuck me.”

Reiner smirked and started to unbutton Eren’s jeans.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the mistakes I’ll go back and correct once I log on, on my pc~


End file.
